


Civilian vs Jounin

by Kalira



Series: Iruka's Two Boyfriends [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: (I'm glad he enjoys it), Confrontations, Dual Identity, Happy Ending, Hatake Kakashi Loves to Fuck With People, Healthy Relationships, Henge, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Iruka's life is complicated, Jealousy, Laughter, M/M, POV Alternating, Performative Jealousy, Teasing, Umino Iruka is a Prankster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22913308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalira/pseuds/Kalira
Summary: Iruka is more than happy dating his civilian boyfriend, but how will that hold up when one of Konoha's most mysterious (and strangest) jounin makes a move, showing how crazy he is about Iruka?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Sukea/Umino Iruka
Series: Iruka's Two Boyfriends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668055
Comments: 106
Kudos: 357





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> This is complete and will update twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays, until it is all posted!
> 
> Thanks to [Koi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoiLungfish) for both sparking the idea and working through it with me, and helping polish it up when finished!

Kakashi hummed to himself, absently tossing his mission report and catching it one-handed, skimming the row of chuunin at the mission desk. There was one bright smile and perky ponytail missing from the usual lineup he could expect. He hummed thoughtfully as he was called up to the desk himself.

“Kakashi-san! You weren’t expected until tomorrow! . . .ah, that is- You finished your mission early?”

“Where’s Iruka?” Kakashi asked, turning over his scroll.

“Iruka-sensei? Oh, I. . .” the chuunin before him frowned. “I’m not sure; he traded out with Kiyoru-san.”

Kakashi glanced over.

“Oh, he didn’t say why, just . . . personal plans?” Kiyoru said with a smile. “Did you need something, Hatake-sama?”

Kakashi resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose at the manner of address.

“He went out with his boyfriend. The civilian, remember?” Rana said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, right! They were going to check out that new foreign place, weren’t they?”

“His . . . boyfriend.” Kakashi said slowly, twitching, fingers curling towards his palm, hidden in his pocket.

“Yeah, some civilian who-”

“Thank you.” Kakashi bit out. “You’ve been . . . very helpful.”

He realised the entire room was staring at him and smiled tightly, closing his eye, lifting one hand in a jaunty wave. Then he slipped out the window, heading for the centre of the village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise a happy ending with everything sorted out for Kakashi and Iruka, just trust me through the shenanigans. ;)
> 
> This is the shortest chapter.


	2. Confrontation and Confusion

Laughing and nearly choking on the bite he had just taken, Iruka raised a hand to his mouth, laughing a little more at himself even as he fought to breathe and swallow. His boyfriend’s soft laugh beside him made him smile as he reached for his glass. He’d done that on _purpose_ , Iruka thought with exasperated fondness, making him laugh just as he took a bite.

“Ah- Kakashi-san! I’m afraid you can’t simply go through in to-”

The voice cut off in a yelp and Iruka frowned, brows drawing together. Kakashi?

“Kakashi-senpai!” Yamato called from somewhere behind them - he’d waved to Iruka when they came in, though he hadn’t risen from his place across from Sai, who had offered only a blank look - sounding happily surprised and then alarmed as he repeated himself, and Iruka frowned more. The wait staff might - it was barely possible - mistake someone else for Kakashi; Yamato would not.

Glancing at his boyfriend and brushing a hand over his side, Iruka turned to look. “Kakashi-san.” Iruka said, shocked.

Kakashi _glared_ at him, eye narrow and furious, lean body tense as he prowled towards them, and a cold shiver ran down Iruka’s spine. “Iruka. Sensei.” Kakashi bit out.

Iruka nearly jumped as a gentle touch slipped over his arm and clasped lightly. “Kakashi-san? ’ru-kun, do you know, ah . . . Kakashi-san?”

Iruka opened his mouth, then paused, swallowing and glancing sideways at his boyfriend.

“Yes, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi said sharply, tilting his head at an almost playful angle that only drew the eye to the tension and poise of his posture, barely two steps away, “do tell.”

“Kakashi.” Iruka snapped. “What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

“What am _I_ doing?” Kakashi asked pleasantly, voice sharp.

“Kakashi-senpai. . .” Yamato called across the restaurant, bless him for trying to defuse things as he attempted to coax Kakashi away from them.

“’ru-kun?” Sukea asked softly, resting a hand on Iruka’s arm even as he rose, not wanting Kakashi to be _looming over him_.

“It’s fine.” Iruka soothed, looking at his boyfriend again - his playful, sweet, _civilian_ boyfriend.

Sukea shifted uneasily, clasping Iruka’s arm. “Are you-”

Kakashi _snarled_ and there were several clinking and thumping noises from tables around them, accompanied by soft gasps or mutters. Iruka resisted the urge to roll his eyes. People forgot that Kakashi was the last of the Hatake almost as much as they mooned over the same fact. Forgot what it meant.

“ _Kakashi._ ” Iruka snapped in return. “Control yourself.”

“Please.”

At the plaintively soft plea, Iruka glanced over to find the owner of the restaurant, who had greeted them himself when they were seated, not far away. He looked rather pitiful.

“I’m still waiting for an explanation.” Kakashi’s voice was low, still rumbling with a snarl that made the hair at the nape of Iruka’s neck stand up, but it carried effortlessly. Iruka had no doubt everyone in the restaurant heard him perfectly.

“ _You’re_ waiting for an explanation?” Iruka shouted, immediately incensed. “ _You_ turn up here on _my_ date; _you_ snarl at me - and- and at Sukea! _You_ have _no right_ to an explanation or anything at all from me, Kakashi, you colossal imbecile! Why did I _ever_ agree to go-”

“Oh, I upset _Sukea_?” Kakashi sneered behind his mask, making the expression surprisingly clear.

“He is my boyfriend, Kakashi!” Iruka said harshly, putting a hand on Sukea’s shoulder.

“You rejected me for _this_?” Kakashi barked, gesturing dismissively - _disdainfully_ \- at Iruka’s boyfriend, and he bristled. And-

“ _Rejected_ you?” Iruka repeated, boggling. “What the hell do you- That was _flirting_? I thought you were just being a dick!”

Kakashi looked _wounded_ , slinking a fraction closer. “Well now that you know. . .”

Iruka scowled at Kakashi, and this time Iruka _himself_ gestured pointedly at his boyfriend.

“Iruka! Surely you wouldn’t rather-”

“Sukea is my boyfriend, Kakashi!” Iruka interrupted harshly. “So hell yes, I would _rather_ -”

Kakashi snarled again, lower this time and louder, and Iruka’s fingers _itched_ for a kunai, which he didn’t have on him, because he was _on a date with his civilian boyfriend_.

“Now, now.” Sukea said, stepping in front of him, and Iruka’s eyes widened. He heard a low moan of fright from somewhere nearby, and saw Yamato hurriedly rise from his table and approach over Kakashi’s shoulder. “I don’t think that’s really necessary, do you? Surely you don’t want to-”

“Iruka, _please_ ,” Kakashi said, softer and more desperate now, the absolutely insane, exasperating, fucking . . . _jounin_ , “please, won’t you just _consider_ -”

“I wouldn’t date you if you were the _last fucking man in Hi no Kuni_ , Kakashi, you _incredible_ dick!” Iruka shouted, drawing Sukea back towards himself protectively. Sukea murmured his name, and Iruka hushed him with a reassuring pat. “Take yourself fucking _elsewhere_ , Kakashi, and keep your nose out of my personal business!”

“Kakashi-senpai.” Yamato said, grabbing Kakashi’s arm and tugging at him. “Come on, please. Let us leave Iruka-sensei and his . . . his companion,” Yamato sent him an apologetic look, and Iruka shook his head slightly, giving a tight smile; Yamato was only trying not to rub salt in Kakashi’s obviously raw wound, of course, he adored his senpai, even when he was an incredible dick - though right now Iruka himself would have been willing to dump the ass in a vat of lemon juice, “and go . . . calm down.”

Kakashi all but whimpered as he suddenly slouched, sending a mournful look at Iruka.

Iruka glared and then turned his back on them as Yamato coaxed Kakashi away and out of the restaurant entirely, their voices quickly fading out of easy earshot. Iruka ignored them, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a few deep breaths, calming himself. What the _hell_ had that been about? What even had Kakashi. . .

Iruka shook his head. No, that way lay utter madness.

He opened his eyes and looked for his boyfriend, frowning when Sukea-

“Here, something extra for the disturbance, I’m _so_ sorry.”

Iruka turned to find Sukea pressing cash on the owner, who protested but only a little.

Iruka frowned. “That’s _not_ your responsibility. You didn’t cause any of this. _Kakashi_ ought to-”

“It’s all right.” Sukea said with his sweet smile, turning back to Iruka and clasping one of Iruka’s hands in both of his own. The owner hurried off behind him. “I wouldn’t want them to be upset . . . and you liked the food, I hope they’ll let us come back?”

Iruka flushed a little and nodded. “I did, yes. If you would like to, I would . . . love to come back.” He frowned. “With less of a _scene_ , kami, I can’t believe-”

“Besides,” Sukea said, kissing his palm, and Iruka startled, “he was clearly heartbroken over you . . . and I cannot blame him.” He smiled, squeezing Iruka’s hand. “You are well worth breaking one’s heart over, ‘ru-kun, dearest. So . . . I’ll take care of it, and I’m sorry for him - but not that sorry.” he added, kissing Iruka’s palm again. “Because I’ll never be sorry I have you.”

Iruka shook his head slightly, smiling, and tugged Sukea to himself for a soft kiss. “You are . . . a sweetheart.” he said, hugging his boyfriend. Sukea gave a soft _hn_ and returned the embrace.

“A sweetheart who regrettably has an early shoot tomorrow. . .” Sukea said, and he _looked_ regretful as they pulled away from one another. “May I walk you home, dearest?”

Iruka laughed softly; his civilian boyfriend holding his hand and walking him to his front door was . . . sweet. “Sure.” he agreed, and they took their leave of the restaurant and headed towards Iruka’s apartment, moving slow to spend more time together as they talked.

They _didn’t_ talk about Kakashi.

Still, eventually they had climbed the stairs to Iruka’s apartment, and he sighed, tugging at Sukea’s hand. “I suppose you have to go?” he asked, pouting a little, playing it up.

Sukea made a low regretful sound and drew Iruka close for a kiss. “I do. I wish I didn’t, but if I’m not-” Iruka kissed him again and Sukea made a happier sound, drawing out the kiss a little more this time.

“Good night, dearest.” Sukea said as they finally parted, slightly breathless, and reached up to slide a hand over Iruka’s shoulder.

“Good night, sweetheart.” Iruka returned, cupping Sukea’s cheek and brushing his thumb over one of the purple stripes on his boyfriend’s face.

Sukea stole another quick kiss, then pulled away with a sigh, clasping Iruka’s hand one more time before he turned away. Iruka watched him down the stairs, smiling fondly, then shook his head and turned around, letting himself into his own apartment.

He stepped inside, reaching for the light as the door closed behind him, then froze.

Kakashi lounged against the far wall, quite still, watching him. Without Yamato this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> . . .the _drama_!


	3. Home and Hilarity

Iruka’s eyes narrowed, glare sharpening, and he completed his gesture, flicking the light on. Kakashi met his gaze squarely, pushing lazily off the wall.

Iruka twitched, then burst into giggles, and Kakashi grinned as he surrendered to his own, head bowing. Iruka crossed to him, still laughing, and lightly punched his upper arm. “Kakashi! You- Oh, kami.” Iruka’s lips pursed and he shook his head, huffing.

“I love you. . .” Kakashi crooned, winding his arms around Iruka, hands sliding over his hips and around to his back - he was so cute out of uniform, though he was adorable in his uniform too. . . “And it was really funny?” He smiled hopefully.

“Kakashi!” Iruka rubbed his face, huffing again. He peeked through his fingers, lips twitching. “I. . . Okay, yes, it was _hilarious_ , you _horror_.” he agreed, laughing again and lifting his arms to wrap around Kakashi’s neck, only pausing to tug his mask down.

Kakashi crooned again, nuzzling Iruka affectionately, pressing kisses along his cheek as he laughed and cuddled into Kakashi’s embrace, warm and broad and solid and _his_. Kakashi rumbled deep in his throat.

“What _possessed_ you to give you that idea?” Iruka asked, tipping his head back and trailing his fingers along Kakashi’s temple. “Why didn’t you _talk to me about it_?”

“I’ve been hearing a few more whispers about my regard for you.” Kakashi said, and Iruka huffed, taking a breath. “Not just inside the village.” he added softly, kissing Iruka’s cheek.

“. . .oh.” Iruka hugged him tighter.

Kakashi hummed. “. . .and I wanted to see your reaction, too.” he admitted, grinning.

Iruka freed one arm from around Kakashi’s waist and thumped him in the side, and he laughed. “Of course you did.” Iruka shook his head. Kakashi rubbed their noses together with a soft sigh, and Iruka kissed him lightly. “I had no idea what to think when you turned up. I thought they were mistaken it was _you_ at _all_ until I heard Yamato.”

“He’s been talking about wanting to try their food, I . . . made sure he had time out today to do so.” Kakashi admitted; it had been all too easy to adjust the schedule without leaving any sign it was his doing. “Someone to be there to-”

“Someone familiar and strong enough to step in when a jounin begins to lose it?” Iruka suggested, and Kakashi grinned.

“Also,” he tilted his head, “Tenzou won’t _gossip_ about me, but,” he paused, calculating, “three quarters of ANBU should know about my _heartbreak_ and how stuck I am on you, and how _very_ harshly you turned me down,” he paused again to pout theatrically at Iruka, who snorted, “by the end of this week.”

“How harshly I turned you down; Kakashi when you snarled at Sukea I-” Iruka laughed, squeezing Kakashi tighter. “Kami, I nearly lost it for a second there.”

“Several other people did.” Kakashi said dryly, and Iruka snickered.

“Well _I_ nearly laughed at you.” Iruka countered, and Kakashi grinned.

“Not the usual reaction.” he said idly, amused and fond.

“My usual reaction is probably a fair sight away from the one most sane people would have.” Iruka admitted wryly, and Kakashi hummed, arching his eyebrows. Iruka shifted a little, pressing closer against him, hips angling to make his point very clear. Kakashi shivered.

Iruka stroked the nape of his neck, which all but tingled under the caress. “And when you said you _upset Sukea_. . .” Iruka shook his head, pulling away a little again.

“Sukea was very upset.” Kakashi said, clearing his throat, lips twitching. “His dear ‘ru-kun was upset and there was a crazy jounin interrupting his date!”

Iruka laughed, his expression bright and beautiful, eyes sparkling. Kakashi rumbled softly and nuzzled him, and he kissed Kakashi again. “Of course.” He ruffled Kakashi’s hair almost absently, toying with it, and Kakashi sighed, relaxing into him.

Iruka stepped back, drawing him towards the couch. Kakashi followed willingly. “Do you think this will deal with the rumours,” he paused, “particularly the ones picked up and carried outside the village?”

Kakashi shrugged fluidly, settling on the couch and smiling when Iruka tucked up close beside him. “It will take time to see. I’ll have to slink around being mournfully heartbroken for at least a few weeks. . .” he said, stroking Iruka’s back.

“Oh, k- I have a mission desk shift tomorrow.” Iruka interrupted himself, giving Kakashi a sharp look.

“Yes, love?” Kakashi said innocently.

“Are you-”

“Picking up a mission tomorrow? While you’re on shift?” Kakashi finished, grinning. “Of course!”

“You’re going to be insufferable, aren’t you?” Iruka asked, snorting.

“’ruka!” Kakashi said, tsking. “I’m going to be _heartbroken_. What a cruel creature you are.”

“Ninja.” Iruka countered lightly, and Kakashi hummed, amused, resting his chin on Iruka’s shoulder and making a soft sound of pleasure as Iruka ran gentle fingers through his hair, pulling his hitai-ate away after a moment.

Kakashi closed his eye, nudging into Iruka’s hands and shifting to lean into him. Iruka murmured affectionate nonsense and rubbed his shoulder, then leaned away briefly and Kakashi wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, whining a wordless complaint.

“Eyepatch?” Iruka offered, and Kakashi shook his head with a huff, keeping his Sharingan closed as he looked Iruka in the eye again.

He twisted to put his back to the arm of the couch and Kakashi happily stretched out across his legs and chest, looking up at him. “Did you have a nice night out with Sukea?” Kakashi asked, and Iruka laughed, hugging him around the shoulders.

“Sukea is a sweetheart,” Iruka said playfully, ruffling Kakashi’s hair and stroking down the nape of his neck, “I always enjoy our dates.”

Kakashi smiled; good.

“Although the crazy, pining, dick of a jounin who interrupted us and all but threatened to tear his throat out was certainly a new one.” Iruka continued dryly, and Kakashi barked a laugh.

“Perhaps Sukea should choose more carefully where he takes you in future.” Kakashi advised.

“Oh I’m sure there’s no avoiding this particular jounin when he gets a scent anyway.” Iruka said with a smirk.

Kakashi ignored him, nuzzling along his collarbone instead. Scenting him. Kakashi stifled a laugh at himself and rubbed his cheekbone against Iruka’s shoulder.

Iruka tugged his hair. “Kakashi,” he said when Kakashi looked up again, “ _when_ did you send that kage bunshin out? I didn’t-” He frowned.

“Half an hour before Sukea came to meet you.” Kakashi said gently. Iruka was good but Kakashi’s clones _had_ to be indistinguishable, and he was good at it. “I had a few things to deal with ahead of time.”

Iruka made a soft grumbling noise, but nodded.

Kakashi leaned up to kiss his boyfriend, and the frown eased as Iruka shifted beneath him, returning the kiss and sliding an arm around Kakashi, holding him close. “Are you staying tonight?” he asked as their lips parted, barely a breath, and Kakashi stifled a soft, needy whine. “I think my boyfriend deserves a reward for such a nice night out.”

“Even though I interrupted it being threatening and unbalanced?” Kakashi asked, tilting his head and looking at Iruka through his fringe.

Iruka smirked. “I’m sure you can make that up to me if you try.” he challenged, and Kakashi blinked, then grinned.

“I promise to do my utmost.” he said sincerely, and pouted as Iruka pushed him away.

“You are very good when you set your mind to anything.” Iruka said, rising and stretching lazily. “Come prove it?” he invited, glancing over his shoulder, and Kakashi followed with alacrity.


	4. Mournful Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the mission desk!

Iruka was used to the cadence of work at the mission desk, and the sudden shift in the room might as well have been the ring of a gong to his senses. He kept his head down as he checked the information on the scroll he had just been handed, then stamped it and put it aside in the appropriate tray to be filed. “Thank you for your hard work, enjoy your break.” he said with a smile.

Iruka received a polite murmur in return and beckoned to the next ninja in line, not looking for Kakashi.

“I can’t believe he’s _here_.”

“Are you serious? Of course he’s here.”

“I think he proved yesterday how much he cares about things like-”

“It’s so romantic!”

“Romantic? It’s crazy!”

Iruka tuned the hushed murmurs out, as he had been most of the morning, and spoke cheerfully to the chuunin accepting their next mission.

“Do. . . Do you want me to deal with him, so you don’t have to?” Rana asked as the chuunin stepped away again, leaning over closer to Iruka.

He raised his eyebrows. “I’ll handle it.” he said, straightening his shoulders a little more. “We’ll see if he’s learned anything.” he added darkly.

“. . .are you- He’s a jounin, I’m amazed your boyfriend still has an apartment this morning! Or is in one piece!” Rana said quietly - though Iruka knew it wasn’t quietly _enough_ , most likely. “. . .oh kami, _is_ he in one piece, are you sure?”

“Then he’d hardly be likely to let you deflect him for me, would he?” Iruka pointed out dryly, and looked up at Kakashi as he slunk up to the desk, restraining the reflexive smile he gave _everyone_ while on duty at the mission desk.

“Iruka-sensei. . .” Kakashi began, contriving somehow to look mournful and hopeful and puppyish with the narrow sliver of his face that was visible.

Iruka nodded shallowly, sharp, and ran his fingers over the ends of the scrolls stacked beside him. “Hatake-san.” he said coolly, selecting a scroll and double-checking it as Kakashi wilted. He passed the scroll over and Kakashi accepted it silently, slouching lower, head dipping. “Do your best for the village and come back safely.” Iruka said, clipped and hard.

“I-”

“Good luck, Hatake-san.” Iruka interrupted, glaring, and Kakashi slunk away even more slowly than he’d approached, glancing back at Iruka. He resolutely didn’t look, making note of the mission he had handed out in his log as Kakashi made his way to the door, then stepped out of sight through it.

The tension in the room eased a bit, shifting, and Iruka took a breath, then huffed, rubbing at the scar across his nose. He dropped his hand a moment later and raised his head, looking around - everyone seemed miraculously busy, though he knew they were all _watching_ him, and no surprise at that.

“I . . . am going to take a break, if that’s all right?” he asked, pushing back his chair jerkily and then steadying it. “Actually, I’ll go handle the filing for these.” He gestured to the dozen scrolls in the tray beside his place at the desk.

“Go on, of course, Iruka. Take. . . Take all the time you need.” Rana said, glancing towards the door and shuddering. “Damn. I can’t imagine having Hatake. . . Just. . . Take as much of a break as you need, and let us know if you need something, okay?”

He was echoed by the others on mission desk duty with Iruka for the day, and he smiled tightly at all of them, then collected the scrolls for filing and made his way through to the archives.

He checked for anyone else when he stepped inside and found them thankfully empty.

Iruka put the tray of scrolls on the nearest shelf, covered his mouth, and half collapsed back against the shelf behind him, choking on breathless laughter.

A moment later a familiar burble of giggles reached his ears and Iruka couldn’t quite stifle his laughter any more as he turned. “Kakashi!” he managed in an unsteady whisper, shaking his head.

“Muffling jutsu.” Kakashi told him, catching one of his hands and wrapping the other arm around his waist. “No one will hear.”

Iruka let himself laugh properly, head tipping back, and shivered as Kakashi nosed his throat, the soft, tough fabric of his mask a half-familiar caress. Iruka’s giggles subsided and he leaned into Kakashi contentedly, nuzzling his masked cheek, then tilting his head away to meet Kakashi’s gaze.

Kakashi smiled at him, and Iruka raised a hand to stroke his cheek. Kakashi squeezed him a little tighter, and Iruka hummed, leaning into the embrace. He didn’t try to pull Kakashi’s mask down, though he pressed a soft kiss to Kakashi’s lips with it between them.

“Kami, Kakashi, I. . .” Iruka shook his head, smiling.

“Have you had an interesting day, love?” Kakashi asked innocently.

Iruka let out a short, startled laugh. “Like you would not _believe_.” he said, smile stretching to a grin.

“So how was I?” Kakashi tipped his head, almost preening. “Did I look suitably pathetic and heartbroken?”

“Yes, of course,” Iruka snorted and kissed his cheek, “what a sad puppy.”

In a flash Kakashi’s expression shifted and he gave Iruka a pitifully pleading expression, whimpering softly, and Iruka stamped down the reflexive rush to fix it. “You . . . are a menace.” he said after a moment, stroking Kakashi’s cheek, and he smiled.

Iruka kissed him through the mask again. “Fuchirou heard that Sukea _punched_ you yesterday, you know.” he said, and smirked as Kakashi startled, then started to laugh, clinging to Iruka.

“Oh no, truly?” Kakashi asked, eye sparkling with mischief.

“They started to interrogate me as soon as I came in this morning, of _course_.” Iruka said, rolling his eyes.

“Of course.” Kakashi said without a trace of sympathy. Iruka pinched him above one sharp hip bone and he laughed again.

“I hesitate to tell you this. . .” Iruka began, and Kakashi perked with interest, intently focused on him. Iruka drew out the pause until he was afraid Kakashi might break into a _pout_ at any moment. “A few people wondered why I would remain with my civilian boyfriend when a jounin is suddenly interested in me. Complications of rank and guidelines for such things,” he added wryly, “apparently aside.”

Kakashi’s eye widened. “They what?” he repeated, then frowned. “I know a civilian is-”

“Don’t worry, there were also the rapid counters from several _more_ pointing out that you’re an absolute lunatic.” Iruka said, amused. “Even if mixed with some wondering why I would date a no doubt soft civilian when a jounin,” he paused, leaning away - Kakashi’s arm remained around his waist, but then he hadn’t dropped his own from Kakashi’s shoulder either - and glancing down Kakashi’s body, “a mysterious and assumed to be quite sexy jounin - is on offer; even if _they_ don’t know how gorgeous you really are.”

Kakashi pinked at the top edge of his mask and Iruka kissed him there, still amused but overtaken by fondness.

“It was pointed out,” Iruka said, feathering his fingers through Kakashi’s hair, confident in the knowledge that no one would be able to tell it had been played with, “that you are a powerful, _mysteriously hot_ jounin who would no doubt take care of me if I liked.”

“Of course I will.” Kakashi said, frowning slightly with confusion, and Iruka hugged him a little tighter for not getting it.

“You take high ranking and high _paying_ missions back to back as . . . a matter of course. ‘Iruka! You could quit the mission desk! Or teaching! Or both, I’m sure Kakashi would look after you, he’s obviously _gone_ on you!’” Iruka quoted, lips pursing.

“But you love teaching, _and_ the mission desk.” Kakashi said, huffing, creased lines around his eye.

“I do. And I wouldn’t date you for that kind of _support_ if I didn’t.” Iruka said, tugging Kakashi’s hair lightly, and he nodded.

“How much you put into your duties for the village, not just duty but honest enthusiasm and care . . . it’s one of the most attractive things about you.” Kakashi said, and Iruka blinked, startled, then smiled, nudging close to Kakashi affectionately.

“Thank you, Kakashi. In any case. . .” Iruka shook his head a little. “After that,” he gestured vaguely, “there was ‘he’s a powerful nutcase who could put you in the hospital, he’s obviously got no concept of boundaries or cues!’ tossed back.”

Kakashi snorted, tipping his head until their brows rested together with a soft clink of their hitai-ate meeting. “I see.”

“So my morning was listening to that argument going back and forth, along with speculation as to _how_ exactly you’d ‘tried to hit on me’ in the past, and what my boyfriend knows about you, and whether I turned you down before on purpose or you really were that bad at showing interest. . .” Iruka listed off, reviewing his day thus far. “It started, of course, with some attempts at subtlety, asking me how my date went yesterday.”

“Very exciting.” Kakashi said with perfect poise, and Iruka laughed.

“Many people arguing what _they_ would do in my position.” Iruka told him, and Kakashi sniffed.

“ _They_ wouldn’t be.” he said with a spark of mischief in his eye again.

“I know.” Iruka said fondly. He knew Kakashi _was_ devoted to him, if not quite so crazily as he’d made it seem yesterday, and appreciated the steadfast sincerity of his affections. “I love you too. Crazy jounin.”

Kakashi made a soft pleased sound and nuzzled his cheek.

“Then when you came in. . .”

“Rana offered to _handle me_ for you.” Kakashi said, voice lilting with amusement.

“He meant well.” Iruka said, equally amused.

“Not really up on jounin yet, is he?” Kakashi asked innocently, and Iruka pressed his face to Kakashi’s shoulder as his giggles welled up again, wishing fleetingly that the flak vest wasn’t there in the way.

“No. No he is not.” Iruka agreed once he had himself back under control. Rana was used to dealing with mostly lone genin and less experienced chuunin. Just enough experience to start getting ideas of how crazy jounin could be, but not quite enough to apply the information logically. “He did ask if I was sure my boyfriend still had an apartment this morning and you hadn’t, I’m not sure, _exploded_ it in a fit of jealous pique last night.”

Kakashi snickered. “All right, so he knows _something_ about jounin.”

“He also asked if I was sure my _boyfriend_ was still intact this morning.” Iruka shared, and Kakashi’s eye widened.

Then he grinned, mouth shaping a wicked curve behind his mask. “Oh, Sukea is _absolutely_ coming back this afternoon when you get off shift; I _have_ to see their reactions.”

“Yes!” Iruka agreed immediately. “You know there’s a betting pool among the mission desk staff to see if you’ve scared off my poor civilian boyfriend entirely. . .”

Kakashi chuckled, low and wicked - it was a laugh that might do something to support the thought that he _could_ scare off a poor innocent civilian, Iruka thought wryly - and Iruka shivered, resisting the urge to pull his mask down to kiss him properly.

Kakashi trailed a fingertip down his cheek. “How long is your break?” he asked softly.

Iruka huffed a laugh. “Technically the others told me to take as long as I need. You’re potentially traumatising.” he said dryly.

“Oh?” Kakashi questioned archly, and Iruka laughed again.

“ _No_ , Kakashi. Besides, theoretically infinite break or not, muffling jutsu or not, other people _do_ use the archives.” He kissed Kakashi lightly as he pouted again. “I’m going back as soon as I file these.” He gestured to the small tray of scrolls he’d brought.

Kakashi laughed and nuzzled him affectionately. “I’ll do it. Go back before they worry.”

Iruka inspected him for a moment, then nodded. “Thank you.” He cupped Kakashi’s cheek, and his heart squeezed when Kakashi dipped his head into the touch.

“Sukea will be back for you when you get off shift.” Kakashi said as he pulled away, and Iruka had to fight the grin off his face before he returned to the mission desk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you can guess where the next chapter picks up. . .


	5. Another Date

Kakashi waved, adjusting his scarf and smiling nervously at Raidou, lingering by the door, as he passed inside. He resisted the urge to duck his unmasked face behind the scarf.

Raidou raised an eyebrow, glancing over him and away, no doubt dismissing Sukea as unremarkable. Kakashi continued on inside and up, towards the room that held the mission desk, a path he could have walked unconscious and very nearly had a few times.

He paused outside the door, listening to the chatter inside and hesitating. A pair of chuunin exited and he hurriedly stepped out of their way, murmuring an apology. They glanced at him and moved on without pausing.

Kakashi waited a few minutes, then leaned forwards and peeked around the door.

“Can we help you?”

“Oh!” Kakashi jerked back, raising a hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to-”

“Come in!” Iruka called, grinning at him and waving him inside. “It’ll just be a few minutes, you can come wait in here.”

Kakashi smiled back, attention fixed on Iruka as he stepped inside and made his way across the room. Iruka gave him a smile and beckoned again, then got back to work sorting through the stack of papers in front of him on the table.

Iruka was the only ninja in the room who was _not_ staring at Kakashi, he thought wryly, watching his boyfriend as he came to a stop at the other side of the table. “So this is the mission desk. . .” he said slowly, looking around. His eyes lingered on the kanji painted on the ceiling and the lights framing it, then on the faces of a few of the ninja lingering or waiting their turns around the periphery, offering a tentative smile before he turned back to Iruka. “I’ve only seen the ninja hiring request office in the capital.”

“It’s less exciting when you spend every day here.” Iruka said, eyes bright with amusement, and Kakashi nodded with a soft hum of acknowledgement.

Iruka continued his task and Kakashi turned and smiled, waving uncertainly at a couple of ninja who hadn’t quite looked away quick enough even for a civilian to miss.

“So! You’re Iruka’s boyfriend, huh?”

Kakashi turned back around towards Fukurou. “Yes!” he said with honest happiness. “I’m lucky enough to be.” He looked at Iruka again, smile softening. Iruka glanced up and mouthed _sweetheart_ at him and Kakashi cleared his throat quietly, trying not to blush.

“You were quite lucky last- Ow!”

“Pardon?” Kakashi asked innocently as Haruto stepped up to join Fukurou in front of him.

“We heard there was a bit of upset on your date with Iruka here last night.” Fukurou said, looking Kakashi up and down. “Someone who was . . . jealous?” he finished leadingly.

“I can’t blame him.” Kakashi said brightly, looking adoringly back at Iruka for a moment. “Iruka is wonderful.”

“Yes, yes, but you. . .” Haruto trailed off.

“You faced up to him though.” Fukurou said, and Kakashi smiled. “You. . . Are you all right?”

“All right? Why wouldn’t I be?” Kakashi asked, blinking at them. “Iruka told that man - I don’t mean to be impolite, he is a colleague of yours, I suppose? but he was rather rude himself, you know - off and still let me walk him home after dinner.”

“Right, Iruka was there, but you know. . .” Fukurou and Haruto exchanged looks. “You know that Iruka can’t. . . That is, Hatake. . .”

“Is that his name?” Kakashi said, and waved it off. “No, no need to worry, he was just some man a little too overcome by his own feelings, maybe a bit . . . unbalanced, but,” he shook his head, “all mouth and no teeth, you know the type? No problem!”

“Ready, sweetheart?” Iruka asked, and Kakashi turned away from the other ninja who were poorly hiding their gaping reactions to smile at him.

“Of course!” Kakashi said brightly, holding out a hand.

Iruka twined their fingers. “No interruptions tonight, I think.” he said, and swept a quick glare - too quick for a civilian to have caught - at the others as they headed towards the door.

“Oh I hope not!” Kakashi said, squeezing Iruka’s hand. “I just want you to be able to relax and . . . and hopefully enjoy yourself with me, dearest.”

“I always do.” Iruka told him fondly as they stepped out the doors, leaving behind them, Kakashi was relatively sure, a handful of gobsmacked ninja of varying ranks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be something more of an epilogue/short wrap-up, and I may have a new KakaIru multichapter to announce will be beginning posting soon after it goes up on Saturday. . .


	6. Contentment

“Iruka, are you . . . happy?”

Iruka shivered at the soft rumble of his boyfriend’s voice beneath him, but lifted his head. “Why would you ask that, koibito?” he asked gently.

Kakashi shrugged fluidly, running his fingers through Iruka’s hair, which he had pulled free of its ponytail when Iruka first followed him up here. The leaves rustled around them in the breeze, but both Kakashi and the branch he was lying on remained steady as stone.

“I’m very happy.” Iruka said sincerely, shifting to cross his arms across Kakashi’s chest and propping his chin on them. “What’s in your head?”

“You could have something simpler. If you wished.” Kakashi said, gesturing vaguely.

Iruka hummed, then smirked. “I have two boyfriends to satisfy my needs, and I’m quite happy.” he said lightly.

“I feel I should be upset by that.” Kakashi said, arching a brow.

“I feel I should be upset by having my date crashed by a crazy jounin who continues to make a spectacle of his mournful pining.” Iruka countered.

“. . .but you’re not?” Kakashi asked carefully, concern in his mist-grey eye, and Iruka knew what he was asking truly.

“I like things the way they are.” Iruka said softly. “I don’t need simple, I don’t need what anyone else has. I have two boyfriends who between them are everything I could wish for, they’re both you, and I love you dearly.”

“I love you.” Kakashi said, settling, stroking the nape of Iruka’s neck, and he smiled as he lay his head down.

“I have a pet crazy jounin in the house - or the trees,” Iruka laughed softly, “and a sweet, polite civilian boyfriend in public. I’m well pleased.”

Kakashi laughed, his body thrumming with the warm, rumbling sound, and Iruka closed his eyes and nestled his cheek against the hard muscle of Kakashi’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> . . .and that wraps up this adventure in shenanigans (and sweetness)! I hope it was as enjoyable to read as it was to write, I had _so_ much fun with this one. I also have a sequel, in Tenzou's POV, already begun, which I will post whenever it's finished (hopefully soon).
> 
> Unrelated to this story or its sequel, this coming Wednesday I will be starting to post a 5-chapter KakaIru WIP full of domestic fluff, smut, and wolf!Kakashi, titled 'My Wolf'.


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